Uprooted

Chiefdepsvg

22544764

I’m really suspicious when I read a book, realize that it sucks, only to see that it has 4 and 5 star reviews from people who received a free copy. How can anyone trust a review if people stop being honest? You can’t, that’s the problem. It’s possible that some of these high reviews are legitimate, but definitely not all of them, especially from a book written this poorly.

And the worst part is when the review is filled with drivel like, “LOOK AT ME!! GO BUY THIS BOOK! BUY IT RIGHT NOW OR YOUR LIFE IS NOT WORTH LIVING FOR REALZ! NO RILLY, DO IT CUZ I SAID SO.”

Ummm, no.

What do you think, that people have the IQ of a potato? Really? It’s insulting.

Back to my point. This book blows big time. It’s about a rich, uppity wizard named the Dragon (or Sarkan) that picks a poor, seventeen year old peasant girl every ten years to be his servant. When she’s finished with her 10 year mark, he goes back to the village to pick another teenager. Why? Well, who cares? It’s stupid.

Anyhoo, he picks a girl named Agnieszka, a messy, unkempt girl with an attitude. Perhaps a modern day Miley Cyrus comes to mind? Except she doesn’t stick her tongue out or hump inanimate objects. At least not that I know of.

The village thought he would pick the beautiful Kasia, but he didn’t.

**********SPOILER ALERT**********SPOILER ALERT*********

Bing bang boom, it turns out that Agniiewwssshhkeea or whatever her name is, is a witch, and is inevitably trained by the short tempered, semi-feminine Sarkan. Oh yeah, and he’s downright abusive, with his constant name calling and nasty remarks about how ugly she is. But dontcha know, that’s like, totes romantic because she ends up going to his room and giving him her virginity.

Oh yeah, and she does it while she’s on top! Now isn’t that realistic? Because every girl does it like that, who knew? She loves him, despite the endless tirade of insults and abuse, and she’s as bold and brassy as a Newark stripper, despite the fact that she’s a poor peasant’s daughter raised in a village that’s reminiscent of the Napoleonic era.

The book is 438 pages long, and that’s about 338+ pages too long, In my humble opinion.

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/6582211-rebbie

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